Neurodiversity and Domestic Abuse: Implications for Practice, Policy, and Early Intervention
We know that Neurodivergence doesn’t cause someone to be abusive in an intimate relationship. We also know that people who are Neurodivergent experience alarmingly high levels of domestic abuse, sexual violence and interpersonal victimisation.
For domestic abuse practitioners, this raises pressing questions about how services can meet the needs of Neurodivergent people to ensure their services are accessible to all.
The Autism Act was introduced 16 years ago, yet Autistic people continue to face barriers when seeking support. And a recent House of Lords committee report suggests an updated approach to the autism strategy is urgently needed.
Make a Change is a community-wide, early response to people who are concerned that they are using harmful behaviours in their intimate, or previously intimate, relationships.
We’re undertaking innovative work and revising our programme to ensure it’s inclusive of Neurodivergence – both for survivors accessing support through integrated support services and for those seeking help to stop causing harm through our behaviour change programme.
In this blog, Kay Louise Aldred, Development Lead at Neurodiverse Connection, sets out what we know, and the actions practitioners can take to improve the accessibility of their services.
What the data tells us – and what it doesn’t
It is widely acknowledged that domestic abuse in the UK is at epidemic levels. In the year ending March 2025, an estimated 3.8 million people aged 16 and over experienced domestic abuse in England and Wales, according to the Crime Survey for England and Wales.
Research indicates that sexual violence affects around 30% of women globally. And while domestic abuse affects people across all communities, evidence suggests that Neurodivergent people may face an increased risk of domestic abuse, but there is a significant data gap.
The results of an online survey on sexual assault with 220 Autistic women in France suggests that up to nine out of ten Autistic women have been victims of sexual violence. And in a study of 687 self-identified Autistic adults, 72% reported experiencing ‘sexual assault, other unwanted or uncomfortable sexual experiences, or physical assault’.
In their work on Autistic adults who have experienced interpersonal victimisation (violence and abuse that occurs within personal relationships), Dr Amy Pearson and Dr Kieran Rose found that between 50-89% of Autistic people have been victimised by someone they know.
Despite these stark figures, Neurodivergent people remain underrepresented and frequently misunderstood in domestic abuse research and practice.
Neurodiverse Connection held a summit on grooming and coercive control in 2023 to address this and begin a conversation around the changes needed to make domestic abuse services accessible to all.
And groundbreaking research in this area by Dr Nicole Renehan is growing an evidence base on what works for Neurodivergent service users, with a focus on perpetrator participants.
What do we mean by Neurodiversity?
Neurodiversity refers to the natural variation in how different human minds and bodyminds function. Bodymind is a term that emphasises that the mind and body are not separate but deeply connected and constantly influencing each other.
Neurodiversity encompasses differences in sensation, emotion, communication, sensory processing, and social interaction. This concept recognises that Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, learning disabilities and other neurological differences, or Neurodivergences, are part of human diversity – not deficits that need to be fixed.
People whose neurocognitive function and bodymind diverge from dominant social norms, and therefore do not benefit from them, may identify as Neurodivergent. In contrast, those whose neurocognitive function and bodymind do not diverge from the typical are often described as neurotypical.
A neuroinclusive approach seeks to ensure that systems, environments, and practices are accessible and responsive to this diversity. Neurodiverse Connection’s Neurodivergent-Affirming Language Guide breaks down key terminology and preferred terms chosen by and for the Neurodivergent community.
Why abuse may be harder to recognise, disclose, or escape
Domestic abuse is often framed through narratives that emphasise physical violence and episodic incidents. Like all survivors, for many Neurodivergent people, harm may take the form of coercive control, emotional abuse, manipulation, and exploitation – forms of abuse that are harder to name and evidence. How this is experienced for Neurodivergent survivors can vary in the following ways:
Recognition
Some Neurodivergent people may:
Interpret words literally and struggle to identify manipulation.
Assume responsibility for relationship difficulties.
Normalise harmful behaviour due to previous experiences of exclusion or bullying.
This is not a deficit in insight, but a reflection of how abuse exploits trust, difference, and power.
Disclosure
Disclosure can be particularly challenging where individuals:
Fear being misunderstood or disbelieved.
Have had previous negative experiences with professionals.
Anticipate being blamed or judged, which may be due to common negative first impressions by others, including professionals.
Struggle with unstructured, verbally demanding assessments.
Experience situational mutism, are minimally speaking or non-speaking.
For practitioners, this highlights the need to treat non-disclosure not as the absence of harm, but as a potential indicator of inaccessibility.
Escape and safety planning
Leaving an abusive relationship can involve disruption to routines, housing, and support networks, changes that may be especially destabilising for some Neurodivergent people.
And safety planning that does not account for sensory needs, predictability, and the cognitive load of executive functioning needed may inadvertently increase risk, rather than reduce it.
The social model of disability and domestic abuse practice
The social model of disability is central to understanding Neurodiversity in domestic abuse contexts. Instead of locating ‘difficulty’ within the individual, the social model highlights how barriers are created through inflexible systems, environments, and expectations.
Pearson and Rose describe Autistic masking as a form of identity management where Autistic people suppress parts of their identity, behaviour, and communication to survive in environments organised around neurotypical norms.
They show how Neurodivergent people are often framed as ‘problems’ within systems that are not designed for them, resulting in their exclusion.
Within domestic abuse services, this means that Neurodivergent survivors are often labelled as non-compliant, disengaged, or difficult because service models, communication styles, and expectations fail to accommodate Neurodivergent identities and cultures.
An example of this is where Neurodivergent expressions like Autistic shutdown, or different emotional expression, are misinterpreted as non-compliance or a lack of credibility.
Effective practice focuses on reducing the need for masking by adapting services, instead of expecting Neurodivergent people to conform to exclusionary norms.
Consequences for survivors and perpetrators
Exclusion from domestic abuse services can have serious consequences for both survivors and perpetrators.
Survivors may disengage or remain unsupported, missing out on opportunities to stay safe and access appropriate help. Neurodivergent perpetrators may be denied early intervention that could prevent further harm.
Without accessible support, risk can escalate, and harmful narratives linking Autism or Neurodivergence to abusive behaviour may be reinforced, further stigmatising those who are already marginalised.
Strengthening earlier intervention: Respect and Neurodiverse Connection
Neurodiverse Connection is working with Respect’s Make a Change team and Dr Nicole Renehan to make its early-response model for addressing perpetrators neuroinclusive, showing how domestic abuse perpetrator programmes can be strengthened through a social approach to Neurodivergence.
We want to do this work through a survivor-centred lens, which means understanding the experiences of survivors who are both Neurodivergent and neurotypical, to understand what it is like to be in an abusive relationship with a Neurodivergent perpetrator.
Through its collaboration with Respect, Neurodiverse Connection is supporting the revision of the Make a Change programme to ensure its content and delivery are inclusive of different neurotypes, including people with Autism and ADHD.
This work focuses on adapting language, activities, and facilitation guidance so that Neurodivergent people can engage meaningfully with early intervention support.
Neurodiverse Connection and Make a Change are also contributing to a project led by Dr Nicole Renehan and Dr Vicky Butterby to develop a guide for practitioners facilitating domestic abuse perpetrator programmes on supporting Neurodivergent clients.
Together, these projects shift the focus away from individual ‘non-compliance’ and towards adapting systems and practice to create earlier, more inclusive, and more effective interventions.
For Neurodivergent survivors, this work seeks to reduce barriers to disclosure, improve safety planning, and ensure that survivors are believed and supported without stigma.
At the same time, the project aims to make services more accessible for Neurodivergent perpetrators seeking help to change their behaviour and build caring and equal relationships.
This is done through providing earlier, more effective intervention by promoting clear accountability, without pathologising Neurodivergence, and reducing risk through support that is attuned to individual needs.
Practical actions for domestic abuse organisations and practitioners
Domestic abuse services can take practical, Neurodivergent-informed steps that support both clients and staff. These include, but are not limited to:
Asking about access needs early and revisiting them regularly – ensuring services remain flexible and responsive.
Building staff confidence through training in Neurodiversity-informed practice – helping teams regulate their own responses and reduce burnout, creating a calmer, more supportive environment for everyone.
Offering transparency, predictability, and choice in communication and intervention design – allowing Neurodivergent people to engage more fully.
Services should also review assessment tools for neurotypical bias and recognise the prevalence of alexithymia – the difficulty some Neurodivergent people may have in identifying or expressing emotions – as well as the fact that a person’s ability to speak or communicate verbally may fluctuate depending on stress, fatigue, or sensory load.
When services get it right for Neurodivergent clients, the benefits ripple outward: engagement improves, risk is reduced, and all service users experience clearer, calmer, and more effective support.
Bridging the evidence gap
Neurodivergence does not cause domestic abuse. However, exclusionary systems, inaccessible services, and misguided assumptions increase risk and limit access to support.
For practitioners, the task is clear: adapt systems, challenge myths, and embed neuroinclusive practice across domestic abuse responses. Doing so is not an optional adjustment; it is essential to safety, equity, and effective practice.
Respect’s Make a Change team invites survivors of all neurotypes who have experienced harm from a Neurodivergent partner to be part of a focus group or an individual interview on your experiences.
Your insights will help shape the future of this important work, ensuring that Make a Change is accessible for everyone. Please contact makeachange@respect.org.uk with ‘My Story’ in the subject line to share your story.