Friends, family and communities

Friends and fa

mily are

often the first to know that something isn’t right in a relationship.

Friends, family members, neighbours and colleagues are often the first to know when things are going wrong in a relationship – but aren’t always considered as part of a response to abuse.

At Make a Change, we want to support and empower everyone around people using harmful and controlling behaviours to see themselves as part of the solution, and to work together to address the problem.

Are you concerned about the behaviour of someone you know?

It can be really difficult if you suspect that someone you know is hurting, scaring or trying to control their partner or ex-partner. If the person lives or works in an area where Make a Change offers a service – that’s Durham, Merseyside, Newcastle, Sunderland and Trafford – then you can get in touch with the local team who will help you think about what might be safe and appropriate.

Contact details for local teams:

In Tyne and Wear and Northumberland, our local partner Findaway offers support if you’re worried about someone you know being controlled, scared, or hurt by their partner, ex-partner, or family member. You can contact their anonymous phoneline on 0300 140 0061 or visit their website.

National support

If you’re outside of the areas Make a Change is in, you can contact the Respect Phoneline for support and advice. It’s a free and confidential helpline for people using harmful and abusive behaviour, as well as their friends, family and the professionals working with them.

Call free on 0808 802 4040 from 10am-5pm Monday to Friday, or visit their website (webchat is available on Thursdays from 2-4pm).

They also have advice specifically for friends and family members:

If you think someone is at risk of immediate harm, you should call 999 for emergency services.

Make Change Happen workshops

As part of our work to create a community-wide, early response to people using harmful behaviour in relationships, we have been creating a workshop for local communities where Make a Change is offered. It aims to raise awareness and provide education about the impact of harmful and abusive behaviour in relationships.

Delivery of the workshops is currently paused for further development work, as we build on the experience that’s been gained so far. If you’re a community group that’s interested in working with us on a future workshop, please get in touch to let us know.

Support for people experiencing harmful behaviour

You might know both the person using harmful behaviour and the person experiencing harmful behaviours. There are lots of organisations who offer support to people being affected by the harmful behaviour of a loved one, as well as services like ours who help people using harmful behaviour to change.

Other national support services

  • Rape Crisis: A free phone and online chat service for anyone over 16 in England and Wales who has been affected by any form of sexual violence. Call 0808 500 2222 or visit rapecrisis.org.uk

  • Galop: Supports LGBT+ people who are victims of domestic abuse, sexual violence, hate crime. Call 0800 999 5428 or visit galop.org.uk

  • Honour Based Abuse Helpline: Run by the charity Karma Nirvana, the helpline offers support to victims of honour-based abuse, including child marriage, virginity testing, enforced abortion and forced marriage. Call 0800 5999 247 or visit karmanirvana.org.uk


If you think someone is at risk of immediate harm, you should call 999 for emergency services.